it's been 4 weeks since i got back from south africa and to be perfectly honest, i am still processing everything.
i find myself waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, yet i am excessively tired.
i find myself dreaming (while i'm sleeping, and day dreaming) about africa and it's the only thing that brings me complete peace.
i'm finding that i don't get easily annoyed over little things like i used to, but big things can wear me out.
i find myself looking at the clock to see what time it is there and wondering what the kids at manaleni center are doing at that very moment.
i'm finding that some people are having a hard time understanding and even accepting what i'm going through and are taking things personally...but that's okay, i never expected they would understand.
i still haven't received my suitcase, but that's okay. i filed a claim with delta and maybe they'll give me a little bit of money. a lot of my good jeans were in there, so right now i'm wearing a lot of my jeans when i was a little heavier...it's kind of funny! i don't mind, though...i'm really not in the mood to shop right now.
a few of the team members were so nice to give me some of their souveniers to give to my girls since they knew the items i bought were in my suitcase. and rose has even asked the ladies in kwamhlanga to make some more for me. God is good!
you know, it's so cool now that when i run into my new friends who i went to south africa with, it like there is an unspoken language between us. it's like we look each other in the eyes and we really don't have to say a word. we're not special or anything like that, it's just that the new common bond we have between each other...it's like brothers and sisters.
i really wish i could explain my thoughts more clearly, but it's just so hard. i still don't fully understand, and one person told me this week that it will probably take a lifetime to completely understand what i saw there. i just hope i have the patience within me to sort everything out, and i hope the people around me have the patience too and they don't commit me to a psych ward or something! :)
on a side note, i'm going to see "the iheart film: we're all in this together" next wednesday, november 4 with most of the south africa team and a few other friends. if you don't know what i'm talking about, click here.
sobonana...
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