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Africa: Sobering

on october 29, 2009, south african president jacob zuma delivered a landmark speech to the national council of provinces revealing new strategies to accelerate access towards universal access to hiv prevention, treatment, care and support in his country which has the largest number of people living with hiv.  below is an excerpt from his speech which gave some sobering statistics regarding the current state of hiv and aids in south africa.  at the bottom of this excerpt is a link to his entire speech...i encourage you to read it and understand better what life is like in south africa.

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Recent statistics from the Department of Health, Human Sciences Research Council, Medical Research Council, Statistics SA and other sources paint a disturbing picture of the health of our nation. They show that nearly 6 out 10 deaths in our country in 2006 were deaths of people younger than 50 years. If we consider mortality trends over the last decade, we see that the age at which people die has been changing dramatically. More and more people are dying young, threatening even to outnumber in proportional terms those who die in old age.

Honourable Members, South Africans are dying at an increasing rate. The number of deaths registered in 2008 jumped to 756,000, up from 573,000 the year before. At this rate, there is a real danger that the number of deaths will soon overtake the number of births. The births registered during this period were one million two hundred and five thousand one hundred and eleven (1,205,111). The Independent Electoral Commission had to remove 396,336 deceased voters from the Voters Roll during September last year and August this year.

What is even more disturbing is the number of young women who are dying in the prime of their life, in their child-bearing years. In 2006, life expectancy at birth for South African men was estimated to be 51 years. By contrast, life expectancy in Algeria was 70 years and 60 years in Senegal. These are some of the chilling statistics that demonstrate the devastating impact that HIV and AIDS is having on our nation.

Not even the youngest are spared. Some studies suggest that 57% of the deaths of children under the age of five during 2007 were as a result of HIV. This situation is aggravated by the high tuberculosis prevalence. The co-infection rate between HIV and TB has now reached a staggering 73%. Statistics indicate that the numbers of citizens with TB number at 481,584. These statistics do not, however, fully reveal the human toll of the disease (emphasis added). It is necessary to go into the hospitals, clinics and hospices of our country to see the effects of HIV and AIDS on those who should be in the prime of their lives.

It is necessary to go into people’s homes to see how families struggle with the triple burden of poverty, disease and stigma. Wherever you go across the country, you hear people lament the apparent frequency with which they have to bury family members and friends.

Let me emphasize that although we have a comprehensive strategy to tackle HIV and
AIDS that has been acknowledged internationally, and though we have the largest anti-retroviral programme in the world, we are not yet winning this battle. We must come to terms with this reality as South Africans.

click here to read the full speech delivered by president zuma.

sobonana... 

News: Travel Ban Lifted for HIV-Infected People

i'm not going to get into a political discussion here because i know that the election of president barack obama is met with mixed emotions here in america.  however, i do applaud the white house administration for lifting a 22 year ban on hiv-positive travellers to the united states this past weekend.  this ban was put in place based on fear rather than fact; little was known about hiv in 1987 and it was believed that it could be transmitted through breathing or simply touching someone who was positive.  as we have learned over the years, it takes a lot more than that.

as obama said while signing the bill, "if the united states is going to be a leader in the fight against hiv and aids, we need to act like it."  i'd say this is a huge first step in that direction.

also, president obama signed legislation renewing the ryan white care act, a federal law that authorizes the primary source of funding for aids care and services nationwide.  the updated care act places a stronger emphasis on testing, calling for 5 million hiv tests to be performed annually.  of the 1.2 million people in the united states who are living with hiv/aids, approximately 1/4 of them don't even realize they are affected.  this renewed bill should go a long way in stepping up testing to help address the problem of people unaware of their hiv status before they unknowingly pass on their infection to others.

this is a good move by the united states and my prayer is that we continue to do our part to help end this worldwide pandemic!

sobonana...

Africa: Still Processing...

it's been 4 weeks since i got back from south africa and to be perfectly honest, i am still processing everything.

i find myself waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, yet i am excessively tired.

i find myself dreaming (while i'm sleeping, and day dreaming) about africa and it's the only thing that brings me complete peace.

i'm finding that i don't get easily annoyed over little things like i used to, but big things can wear me out.

i find myself looking at the clock to see what time it is there and wondering what the kids at manaleni center are doing at that very moment.

i'm finding that some people are having a hard time understanding and even accepting what i'm going through and are taking things personally...but that's okay, i never expected they would understand.

i still haven't received my suitcase, but that's okay.  i filed a claim with delta and maybe they'll give me a little bit of money.  a lot of my good jeans were in there, so right now i'm wearing a lot of my jeans when i was a little heavier...it's kind of funny!  i don't mind, though...i'm really not in the mood to shop right now.

a few of the team members were so nice to give me some of their souveniers to give to my girls since they knew the items i bought were in my suitcase.  and rose has even asked the ladies in kwamhlanga to make some more for me.  God is good!

you know, it's so cool now that when i run into my new friends who i went to south africa with, it like there is an unspoken language between us.  it's like we look each other in the eyes and we really don't have to say a word.  we're not special or anything like that, it's just that the new common bond we have between each other...it's like brothers and sisters.

i really wish i could explain my thoughts more clearly, but it's just so hard.  i still don't fully understand, and one person told me this week that it will probably take a lifetime to completely understand what i saw there.  i just hope i have the patience within me to sort everything out, and i hope the people around me have the patience too and they don't commit me to a psych ward or something! :)

on a side note, i'm going to see "the iheart film: we're all in this together" next wednesday, november 4 with most of the south africa team and a few other friends.  if you don't know what i'm talking about, click here.

sobonana... 

Africa: Pondering

i'm reading "blue like jazz" by donald miller.  he just summed up the war raging within me right now as i ponder everything i experienced in south africa.  here's what he said:

i think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself.  i hate this more than anything.  this is the hardest principle within christian spirituality for me to deal with.  the problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.

the thing i realized on the day we protested, on the day i had beers with tony, was that it did me no good to protest america's responsibility to global poverty when i wasn't even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry.  i started feeling very much like a hypocrite.

my than questions about the efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives.  do i want social justice for the oppressed, or do i just want to be known as a socially active person?  i spend 95 percent of my time thinking about myself anyway.  i don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, i only have to look at myself.  i am not browbeating myself here; i am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honoring change would have to start with the individual.  i was the very problem i had been protesting.  i wanted to make a sign that read "I AM THE PROBLEM!"

sobonana...

Africa: Awesome, Cool, and Really Neato!!!

check out what just came through my e-mail...the very first ever newsletter from the manaleni center in kwamhlanga, south africa!

Download Manaleni Day Care Centre September 2009 Newsletter

sobonana...

Africa: Why I Drink Coke...And Why You Should Too

since returning from south africa, my consumption of carbonated beverages has been limited strictly to coca-cola products.  growing up in texas, i was raised on dr pepper and eventually diet dr pepper.  i still drank coke products on occassion, but for the most part i was a dr pepper man.

in south africa, i noticed the over whelming presence of coke products everywhere we went.  we would be driving down a road, and in the middle of a huge field there would be a lone coca-cola sign posted in the middle.  coke signs were all over the place.  when we went to the grocery store one day, nearly every aisle had the floor lined with 2-liter bottles of coke and other coca-cola products.  we would visit people's homes and would notice stacks of empty coca-cola bottles.

our team even became insanely hooked on pineapple fanta (a coca-cola product)...if you've never tried pineapple fanta, give it a shot!

after some research, i learned a little more why coca-cola is so huge in south africa.

• coca-cola is the largest employer in south africa
• coca-cola has contributed $2.5 million towards hiv/aids education
• coca-cola has developed "dance4life" programs for youth to raise community awareness of hiv/aids
• coca-cola provides comprehensive hiv/aids coverage for all coca-cola employees, as well as their spouses and children
• coca-cola provides free arv medications to coca-cola employees and family members afflicted with hiv/aids

robert lindsay, president of the coca-cola africa foundation, the body handling all of coca-cola's community initiatives in africa said, "we don't add much value by just writing a check.  we add more value by using our trucks to physically deliver the actual products needed."  in some communities of south africa, coca-cola has been using it's delivery trucks to deliver free condoms, educational information and in some cases even arv medication.

while me drinking carbonated beverages may adversely effect my health, i have made the choice to stick with coca-cola products solely when drinking carbonated beverages.  just another way that i (and you) can help fight the hiv/aids pandemic in south africa.

resources and more information:

• coca-cola hiv/aids initiatives
• innovation – crucial to tackling the hiv/aids pandemic in africa
• coca-cola south africa (click on "csi profile" on top, then "flagship programmes 2008" on left) 

sobonana...

VIDEO: The Manaleni Center

i have completed the first two installments of the documentary i am working on from my trip to kwamhlanga, south africa.  these video segments highlight the work happening at the manaleni center, a place of refuge for aids orphans and the most vulnerable children.  please watch this video to get a better understanding of what is happening and how we're supporting it, and then forward this video to as many people as possible so we can all "tell the story" of these children.

sobonana...

Africa: The Reality of the Manaleni Center...Please Read

the manaleni center is the home of about 140 aids orphans and vulnerable children.  in a community that has thousands of children, the manaleni center reaches out to the most deprived children.  one of the stipulations for the children to have access to the manaleni center is income...for instance, a family of 6 cannot make more than 1,200 rand per month (that's less than 200usd per month).

the children who go to the manaleni center have been impacted by the aids pandemic in one way or another, most of them having lost parents to aids.

one of those children is my buddy mduduzi that i introduced while i was in south africa.  mduduzi has lost both parents to aids...his grandmother works in pretoria (over an hour away) and she only gets to come home a few days per month.  so, on most nights, mduduzi, who is only 13 years old, goes home alone.  most days, the only meal he gets is from the manaleni center.  mduduzi is just one of about 140 stories of the children at manaleni.

the manaleni center is open 7 days a week from about 9am until an hour before the sun goes down.  they provide education, health services, food and recreation for the children...most of all, they keep them out of trouble during the day by giving them a place to go.  the food mainly consists of a meal of pap (pronounced pop), which is basically like grits to us in america.

the manaleni center is run by a young man named nehemiah.  nehemiah is in his mid twenties and has never been married.  when asked why he has never been married, he says its because the kids and the center are his life.  nehemiah lives at the center and provides leadership to the staff and children, but mainly his job is to love the kids.

st james is the only financial supporter of the manaleni center.  the other four centers have multiple financial supporters, but st james is the only one for this center.  the annual cost to keep the manaleni center open each year is a little less than 100,000usd per year...our initial commitment was to provide two years worth of funding, and through God's grace we have done so.

while we were in kwamhlanga, we asked dr. flip buys, the chairman of mcdc (the parent organization of manaleni) a very pointed question.  we asked, "if st james was unable to provide the funding for the manaleni center, what will happen?"  dr. buys initially responded that the workers of mcdc would have to hit their knees hard and pray for more funding.  when pressed a little harder, dr. buys got down to brass tacks and basically said that if st james was unable to provide funding the doors of the manaleni center would have to close.

100,000usd...

that's it...

to the people of kwamhlanga, that is an amount that almost all of them will never see in multiple lifetimes.

to the people of america, that is an amount that each of us as individuals will see in a year, or two, or three.

a further reality is that even if we gave money to the manaleni center, most of us here in america would probably never get over there to see the impact that it has on that community.

but, is the point SEEING how the money is changing lives or is it KNOWING that it's changing lives?  if you need proof in KNOWING that it's changing lives, the team that just went could tell you story after story after story.

a few months ago, our church committed to raising the money to provide another year of funding for the manaleni center.  at this point, a good portion of the money has been given, but not all of the commitments (or iou's) have been fulfilled.  i want to implore you, if you have committed to give to the manaleni center through st james, please fulfill your commitment before the end of 2009.

if you don't go to st james and you want to give money for the 140 children who need our support, please consider doing so.  no amount of money is too small.  some of you can scratch a check for 5usd.  others can give a little, or a lot more.  this isn't just a st james thing, this is a "humanity" thing.

i wish you could see, feel, hear, smell and experience the impact that the manaleni center is having in this little corner of kwamhlanga.  there are no words to describe it other than to say that it truly is a lighthouse in a dark and desolate community.

on a broader scale, we asked nehemiah why only 140 kids in this large community of children get access and he said it simply came down to resources...if they only had more money, they could reach more kids.  while we want to be able to reach more kids in that community, right now the priority is the 140 who go there and as a human race we must do whatever we can to show love and give hope to those who will get it no where else.

if you are interested in giving to the manaleni center, send me an e-mail and i will put you in touch with the right people...or if you're a st james this sunday, just put your check in the basket and mark it "south africa".

tonight, mduduzi is probably sleeping alone again.  tomorrow he will wake up and go to the manaleni center and receive the love that i saw him so desperately crying out for while i was there.  mduduzi is just one story...and there are many, many more.

sobonana...

Link: HIV/AIDS Ministry

here is the website of the hiv/aids ministry sponsored by st james.  check out this website to fully understand how our church supports the work in south africa.

St. James HIV/AIDS Ministry

sobonana... 

Africa: The AIDS Reality in KwaMhlanga

this story was taken from the june 2009 mcdc newsletter and is a harsh reality of what the workers of mcdc face everyday in the area of kwamhlanga, south africa.

When we found them, the mother and one boy were laying on a mattressless bed – sick to death. There were small children sleeping on one urine-drenched blanket on the floor. The temperature outside was 2 degrees Celsius. A freezing wind was whistling through gaps in the broken window, stuffed with all kinds of cardboard and cloth. One wall of the mud house is about to collapse. They couldn’t remember when was the last time they had something to eat.

There are 11 people living in this small outbuilding. Thandi’s own children, her sister’s children, her grandchildren. Thandi is 46 and HIV positive. From the big house on the same premises came the sound of cutlery on crockery, and laughter. Thandi’s father and his new wife lives there. He is a pastor.

This is not a once-off story. The Home Based Care workers of MCDC come across similar heartbreaking circumstances every day. This fifth-grade girl cares for her baby sister because her mother is too ill. She also cooks for the family – that is when there is something to cook.

Maria lives in this tin shack with her daughter, Sylvia. Both are jobless and sick. They have to care for 8 children. The bigger children have to sleep with neighbours. There is no room for all of them in this oneroomed house.

According to Randy Finckbeiner, FDP manager, their work can be overwhelming. How does one make a difference in so much hurt, cold, poverty and sorrow?

“But it also is very rewarding when you see how sick people respond to medication, food, care and love. When you see the light coming back into the eyes of children when they get food regularly. We just keep looking up at God, knowing He is in control. Then we do what He expects from us.” says Celia Mahlangu, one of the FDP workers. “We take the sick to the clinic. They get tested for HIV/Aids and TB. We bring them food and bedding. As soon as they get medication and food, you see them getting hope again in a hopeless situation.”

“Our biggest problem about HIV/Aids is superstition and stigma.” We take the sick to get anti-retrovirals, but they try everything else first. With family abandoning them and accusing them of evil spirits possessing them, they go to witch doctors first and try all kinds of remedies. Often when it is too late, they come back to us and ask if our God can help them. Then we can only give them the comfort and peace of a loving God before they pass away – and leave more than a handful of orphans behind.”

Randy says they are caring for 300 patients in the field. But that is only the tip of the iceberg. “Our area is divided into 9 zones. Five of these zones have MCDC Care Centres where orphans and vulnerable children get food and support. Here Home based Care workers take care of another 200 patients. In the four zones where there are no centres, all we can do is to provide 10 kg of maize meal per family per month. How do you feed a dozen mouths with one bag of maize meal a month? How can a patient getting ARV’s get better without healthy food?“

We urge everybody reading this newsletter to assist us in the form of funds, maize meal, tinned meat or any other canned food, dehydrated or dried food and blankets. Please phone Randy on 072 267 1006 or Anna on 083 233 0981.

sobonana...

Link: MCDC Official Website

included in this blog posting is the official website of mcdc, which is the organization that st james umc partners with to help support the manaleni centre.  mcdc, which is short for mukhanyo community development centre, provides care and development to orphans and vulnerable children and their families throughout the wider kwamhlanga area.

take some time to visit their website and learn more about their entire scope of ministry, and show your support by subscribing to their newsletter.

MCDC Official Website

sobonana... 

Africa: Understanding My Role

one of the main reasons i visited south africa was to educate myself on the hiv/aids pandemic and bring what i learned back to america to help educate those in my sphere of influence.  there are so many myths about hiv/aids and i hope that i can do my part to bring understanding so that we can fight it better.  this disease is my generation's problem...it wasn't passed on to us by our parents' generation and there is no reason why we should be passing it on to our children's generation.

as i continue to process what i experienced, i will post my thoughts and feelings on this blog.  also, as i come across articles or websites that are informative regarding hiv/aids, i will post them here as well.  i hope you will take time to check out the third-party information i post here and educate yourself.  the number one problem with hiv/aids around the world is lack of understanding about the disease.

(for what it's worth, i want to be perfectly clear that i have been tested and i do not have hiv or aids.  i am just trying to do my part to help in the fight.  if you have not been tested, i encourage you to do so.)

we can continue to ignore this problem and pretend it doesn't exist, but it does and it is killing our generation.  a recent stat said that for every two people starting hiv/aids treatment around the world, there are five newly infected people.  we can fight this and we can control it, but we must take it seriously.

i'm 36 years old with two daughters.  i have asked myself this question, so i must ask you as well:  "do you love your children/grandchildren enough to not pass this problem on to them?"  harsh words, but reality.  i'm grateful that my grandparents didn't pass on polio to my generation, but they dealt with it themselves.  i'm grateful that my parents' generation fought the chickepox so that it is no longer a killer disease as it used to be.  we can fight this disease and we can beat it, but to do so we must know what it is we're fighting.

here is a list of the top ten myths about hiv/aids as provided by www.webmd.com:

• myth #1: i can get hiv by being around people who are hiv positive
• myth #2: i don't need to worry about becoming hiv positive -- new drugs will keep me well
• myth #3: i can get hiv from mosquitoes
• myth #4: i am hiv positive -- my life is over
• myth #5: aids is genocide
• myth #6: i'm straight and i don't use iv drugs -- i won't become hiv positive
• myth #7: if i'm receiving treatment, i can't spread the hiv virus
• myth #8: my partner and i are both hiv positive -- there's no reason for us to practice safer sex
• myth #9: i could tell if my partner were hiv positive
• myth #10: you can't get hiv from oral sex

to view the entire list in detail, click here...do it...you know you want to!

sobonana...

Africa: Irreplaceable

i spoke to delta airlines yesterday morning and they have no clue where my suitcase is.  i ended up speaking with cheryl who is a floor manager and she sent messages to the johannesberg, atlanta and tampa airports about my bag.  she even said some red suitcases were unclaimed at the atlanta airport and had workers check, but neither was mine.  the tracking system they use shows that my suitcase never left johannesberg.

there are three items in my suitcase that i desperately want back:

1. some handmade souvenir gifts that i had bought for my daughters.
2. a t-shirt that all of the kids signed on my last day at the manaleni center.
3. a letter hand written by one of the kids at the manaleni center.

they can keep everything else in that bag, and i have no problems going out and getting new clothes, but i would really like to have those items.  in fact, the souvenirs i bought for my daughters are replaceable, but how can i replace the autographed t-shirt and the letter???

a quick story about the t-shirt...it was the final day at manaleni center and we were done with the programming.  as we were saying our goodbyes to the kids, my buddy mduduzi comes up to me with a marker and asks to sign my shirt.  fortunately, i was wearing a white undershirt so he signed it.  the next thing i know, i was kneeling down for about a half hour while kids signed their name to my shirt.  it was truly a humbling experience.

so, delta airlines, if you're reading this, i'd kinda like to have the shirt back please.  i'm going to file a claim, but maybe a miracle can be had?!?

yesterday was a bit better emotionally, but i know i have been impacted for the rest of my life...which is good.  i hope and pray that i don't ever forget what i saw, but i also don't want to walk around in a funk the rest of my life.  i had my girls last night and we talked a lot about my trip...actually, my oldest daughter is learning about apartheid and the south african culture right now in school, so i offered to come speak to her class about my visit.  i also talked some about aids with my kids and while they didn't fully get it, they at least stayed interested in the conversation.

i still haven't watched more than 10 minutes total of tv since i've been back.  honestly, nothing on tv interests me right now and i'm even trying to think about how my girls would respond if i had the service canceled.  i don't know, we'll see.

oh, and i got my first video done!  it's a simple highlight video, but i'll start uploading the videos as they are completed.

i stayed up until 9:30 last night!  woo hoo!  but i woke up at 3am this morning.  boo!  hopefully only 5.5 hours of sleep will make me extra tired tonight so i will be able to sleep longer tomorrow night.

other than that, not much else to report.  i know this may sound insignificant for some, but please pray for a miracle to come about with my suitcase.  i would really like to retrieve those three items!

sobonana...

Africa: Adjusting

ok, so adjusting back to america is harder than i thought it would be.  i tried to stay busy yesterday but found myself lost in another place.  i kept looking at the clock wondering what the kids were doing...what were randy and rose doing...what would we be doing if we were still there.

i looked at americans and felt like a foreigner.  i don't want to be a hypocrite and judge americans because until last week, i didn't understand either.

i felt mostly sadness yesterday.  i just wish that eveyone could realize how big our planet is and at the same time realize how small it is.

i made malva pudding for the staff team yesterday.  it actually turned out quite good...i was impressed with myself.  malva pudding is a south african dessert that we ate the first day we were there.  of course, the malva pudding we at at the restaurant was incredible, but mine wasn't too shabby.

my body is still on africa time.  i felt like i was cruising right along yesterday until about 4pm when it hit me like a wall and i suddenly became so sleepy!  i left church around 5 and came home and crawled right into bed.  by 7pm i was out like a light and woke up around 4am today.  i remember when i went to sydney, australia (13 hour difference), it took me almost 2 weeks to fully recover.  i think it's still going to take me a few more days, but i am ready to be back on a normal sleeping schedule.

oh, and still no luggage...hopefully today.

will you pray for the children of the maneleni center today?  we were told that the kids experience a few days of sadness after we leave, and if it's anything like me and the rest of the team are experiencing, my heart breaks.  just pray that we will all be able to get back to normal withouth forgetting what we saw and experienced.

sobonana...

Africa: Back to Life

today is the first day back to normal life for those of us who went to south africa.

sarah will be back at her school teaching 3rd graders

linda will be back at her job as a cfo

kati will be back in school

kelli will be back at usf creating tests

jeannine will be back at her job as a social worker

angela will be back at her school teaching 5th graders

john will be back at work as an engineer

tom and david will be arriving back in tampa later today

and i will be back at church as a worship leader

ten people.  ten stories of life change.  ten spheres of influence that will be impacted.  yet, one heart beating in rhythm for the people of kwamhlanga, south africa.

i'm not going to lie, it's been a challenge adjusting back to the american way of life.  the things i thought were important have taken on new meaning.  i'm not saying they're less important, but as i mentioned yesterday, i just see things differently now.  it is definitely going to be a challenge for me to put my head back in the game as a worship leader...not because i don't want to do it anymore, but, well, you know.....

i went to church yesterday to the 11am service at st james.  it was so refreshing to sit on the front row and just worship without any leadership responsibility.  i can honestly say that for the first time in my entire career as a worship leader, this was the first time i've ever been able to just worship while sitting in the congregation.  normally, i would be evaluating everything and looking around, but yesterday was innocent and pure.  i sat next to my south africa family on the front row and there was more than one tear shed during the service.

as only God could orchestrate, pastor steve talked about serving.  this wasn't a special "welcome the south africa team back" kind of sermon, it was the fourth sermon in a series about being a better disciple of jesus and it just so happened to be about serving others.  pastor made a comment that i believe now more than ever.  he said,

"the day the church stops looking outward at the world is the day the church stops being the church and becomes a christian country club."

bingo!  i get it now!  and i'm a witness to that truth!  as a worship leader, i believe now more than ever that "worship"is more than singing songs, more than reading God's word, more than prayer, more than giving.  i believe now more than ever that last week in south africa, the south africa family worshipped God more than ever before simply because we were obedient to Him.

there is still a lot for me to process, but the fog is starting to lift.

i slept for 12+ hours last night (I crashed around 5pm and woke up around 5:30am) and my body feels a little bit rested.  i'll be knocking back some coffee today to keep the wheels moving, but i'm ready to get back into normal life and i'm ready to see how differently i will view my job today after what i experienced last week.

will you pray for my south africa family specifically today?  pray that as we all get back to life we will not forget and become desensitized to what we experienced.

sobonana...

Africa: Hindered and Entangled

have you ever looked at something and then looked at it again and saw it totally different?  that's how i'm feeling right now.  it's like my "rose colored glasses" have been stripped off and i'm seeing things so much differently now.  like i mentioned in a previous post, i want to be honest with my emotions and i know they're raw at the moment, but i also want to strike while the iron is hot.

i'm just having a hard time getting back into the american culture.  if you've been out of the country, especially on a mission trip, i think you know what i mean.

i paid four bucks for a cup of tea at the atlanta airport starbucks yesterday.  four bucks?!?  really???  i couldn't finish it.

i came home and turned my tv on trying to find some good football.  i wasn't interested, so i slept for a couple of hours then woke up and watched video footage and looked at pictures from africa.

i have a ticket to the u2 concert this wednesday in tampa.  if bono wasn't such an adamant supporter of poverty and aids in africa, i probably wouldn't go.

i mentioned in a previous post that david smith told us that the purpose of this trip is not to go home and sell everything, but to become better disciples of Christ.  for me, becoming a better disciple is including looking at things differently.  i won't stop buying starbucks or watching football (those were raw reactions immediately after returning), but i will think twice about things like that.  do i need to watch football or should i take some time to write mduduzi a letter?  do i need a four dollar cup of tea at starbucks or should i skip this cup and send a few bucks to mcdc?

john darling made the quote of the week on our final day in south africa.  a few days before, he mentioned how our time in kwamhlanga made him realize how much "noise" was in his life that distracted him...on friday, we went to the pretoria mall to get some souveniers and while at the mall john so accurately said, "the noise is back."

for the past twenty four hours, the middle part of hebrews 12:1 has been resonating in my head:

"let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles"

i'm realizing that what has hindered and entangled me the most is living naively enough to think everyone in the world lives like americans.  they didn't even know who the dallas cowboys were!!!  i know some of you may think that's funny, but for me (even though i had some fun with it in the moment), it was a huge eye opener.  i honestly thought, EVERYONE knew who the dallas cowboys were.  in that moment, i realized how hindered and entangled i was.

this is going to be a much longer journey than i anticipated, but i'm ready for the challenge!  i'm not afraid of what it may do to me (or for me).  this is my moment to stand up and do my part!

sobonana...

Africa: Some of My Favorite Moments

here are some of my favorite moments that didn't make the blog during my trip:

• laying out under the stars with my new family and strumming my guitar.  the silence was deafening at times.
• getting "africa feet" by playing soccer barefoot with the kids.
• swapping ipods with angela and listening to "alternative" music.
• tasting pineapple fanta for the first time.
• "bag full of smiles"
• seeing a real live dingo!
• teaching the kids "shorty got low, low, low, low, low....."
• hearing a kid tell me i have beautiful hair.
• the kids asking me if they can write their name on my shirt.
• stalk sweets.
• wearing earplugs when i slept and everything being totally silent.

sobonana...

Africa: The Journey Continues

for those of you visiting this blog for the first time, i traveled to south africa for the first time in my life on september 25, 2009 through october 3, 2009.  my purpose for going was to film the experience and create a documentary to bring back home and educate others...it turned out to be way more than that.  this blog is a journal of my experience leading up to the trip, during the trip and after the trip.  check back often to keep up with my continued journey.

Africa: Day 8

i'm in the middle of my final flight between atlanta and tampa right now and every muscle and joint in my body aches!  i think even my hair hurts!  the flight from jo'berg lasted a little over 16 hours and i slept for about 3 hours WITH sleep meds.  i ended up sitting next to angela on the jo'berg flight and we had a blast...she is a hoot and it has been such an honor getting to know her and the entire team!  and, the best part is that they all let me be "jason the person" and not "jason the worship leader"...scary, i know, but so refreshing for me!

every part of my being is exhausted...physically, spiritually, emotionally.  it has been a long, yet life changing week.  i'm going to start working on the video footage pretty immediately.  i have some fresh ideas in my head that i don't want to lose.  i'll be creating high definition versions for all of these videos, but i'll also upload them to youtube when i'm finished with them.

i'm feeling very challenged as to how i will educate people in america with these videos.  the truth is, you just won't fully understand until you have been for yourself and gotten "africa feet" or "tie die hands" (inside joke).  i feel like i have joined a very small "fraternity/sorority" of sorts...not that i'm any better than anyone else, but it's just so hard to explain if you haven't been.  my theme for this week has been "no words" and it continues to be my theme...there are no words to describe it, but the challege is that i have to come up with words!  these kids need YOU to hear their story...the people suffering and dying from aids need YOU to hear their story...those living in extreme poverty, like the family of 6 living on less than $200usd per month need YOU to hear their story...and it's up to me to tell it for them.  i don't think i need to tell you how you can pray for me!

i need to go back for a week or two and do nothing but film.  even though we had several meetings that prepared us in advance, i still didn't know what to expect until i got there.  now that i've been, i want to go back with a solid plan to capture some strategic stories and angles.  i'd even like to take someone with me to film with a second camera and be a second set of "eyes" for me.  i'm going to seriously look into going back sometime this spring, separate from the rest of the regular team visit next september...and, yes, i am definitely going back next september...the kids made me promise them i'd be back!

i'm not going to blog about what happened thursday or thursday night.  it was very emotional for all of us and one of those days that is better left alone in trying to describe.  hearts and souls were exposed with our team and i want you to know that the 10 of us that went are a family now, especially after what happened thursday night.  and i'll close this part by saying this: david smith is the REAL DEAL!!!

other than that, customs in atlanta was a headache.  one cool part was that we applauded for about 5 minutes while servicemen and women in uniform went through the airport.  it took about an hour and a half to get through customs and when i finally got through i found out that my suitcase was missing.  honestly, i don't care...partly because i'm so tired, partly because of the week i just had...in hind sight, i should have just left my entire suitcase behind and just brought back my electronic equipment.  the people in atlanta told me to file a claim in tampa.  they also said that it is typical for overseas flights to leave luggage behind in order to maintain the weight capacity of the plane.  the only thing in my suitcase were my clothes, a photo printer, toiletries, and most importantly a letter i got from one of the kids at manaleni.  they can keep everything else, just give me the letter!  i knew i should have packed that letter in my backpack.  i'm carrying all of my other gear so there's no problems with that, JUST PRAY I GET MY LETTER BACK!!!

ok, we're almost to tampa and once i get there i'm going to go home and sssssllllleeeeeppppp.....there are (obviously) no clothes to wash, lots of great football on tv, and a horizontal surface waiting for my aching body, so i'm gonna crash hard.

sobonana...

Africa: Day 7

**special note**
i typed this last night in the johannesberg airport but didn't get a chance to finish it and post it before i left.

i'm getting ready to board the plane here in south africa and i'm leaving with a very heavy heart!  there is a part of me that is ready to come home and another part of me who doesn't want to leave.  this week has made a huge impact on my life...i'm not ready to say it has changed my life just yet because i want to be honest with my emotions and right now i'm just too raw.  however, i can tell you that my eyes have been opened in a way that i have never experienced.  i'm still wrestling with "what am i going to do," but i know that my biggest "to do" is educate as many people in my sphere of influence.  the question is "how" am i going to do it.

my blog is going to transform now into the "processing effect" so for those who are interested in the aftermath of my trip, i encourage you to check this blog out from time to time.

thank you is too inadequate of a word to express my gratitude for everyone who has prayed and encouraged.  i am blessed beyond my own comprehension and whether i experienced south africa with you or you just offered the words i needed to hear to get me through this week, i want you to know that my heart swells for each of you!

sobonana...