jasonanelson.com

stubbornness

sometimes i can be a stubborn person.  i mean, who isn't in this day and age?!?  i can watch whatever movie whenever i want.  i can listen to whatever song whenever i want.  i can believe what i want, go where i want, say what i want, and even do what i want, regardless of what others think.  and this kind of life is what makes me stubborn, because when i don't get what i want i can put my foot down and DEMAND what i want.

stubbornness is born out of a lack of humility.  it is born out of a heart of wanting for myself before i think of others.  i try to live a humble life, but i've been told by more than one person that humility is not my strongest suit.  over the last three years, i have recognized this weakness within me and have tried hard to think of others before myself.  i've become a card sender, a hugger, and thank you giver, a compliment giver, and have truly made an attempt to decrease myself.

when it comes to things i'm passionate about, though, like ministry, i can be really stubborn.  for years i've generally been able to get whatever i wanted through persuasion...or stubbornness.  sometimes its worked out good, other times not so much.  if you're a dominant leader like myself, you know all too well the struggle with stubbornness!  but i'm learning that passion and stubbornness cannot coexist together.

perhaps stubbornness is one of the reasons why an unbelieving world truly finds the church, or a relationship with Jesus Christ unbelievable (thanks in part to dc talk for that quote).  we have become so stubborn that our passion for sharing Jesus has become clouded with shades of evil and arrogance.

in deuteronomy 10, God was getting ready to lead His people into the promised land but He was giving them instructions and listen to what He says to them in verses 12-16 and then in verse 19:

"'And now Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases Him, and love Him and serve Him with all your heart and soul. And you must always obey the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good. Look, the highest heavens and the earth and everything in it all belong to the Lord your God. Yet the Lord chose your ancestors as the object of His love. And He chose you, their decendents, above all other nations, as is evident today. Therefore, change your hearts and stop being stubborn. So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreingers in the land of Egypt.'"

sounds very familiar when Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself."

being passionate about showing people the love of God = the right way of showing people the love of God

being stubborn about showing people the love of God = the wrong way of showing people the love of God

"God, please take away my stubbornness and help me live with a passion that is unpolluted and healthy for Your Kingdom!"

sobonana...

endurance

i work out almost everyday.  i'll admit that my exercise has been sporadic because of back injuries and travel, but i've finally gotten back into it...actually, i've finally made time for it.  i have a love-hate relationship with working out.  i love what it does for my body, but i hate the actual process.  in fact, many mornings i have to drag myself out of bed and convince myself that everything can wait for 1 hour while i go do this.

once i arrive at the gym, i still have to play mind games and convince myself to stay.  i have to convince myself to make my workouts count and not just go through the motions with light weights and reps.  i have to convince myself that no one is staring at me or the strong guys at the gym are not laughing at me for the meager weight i'm using.  basically, every morning my workout is a fight with endurance.  but, when i leave the gym after a good workout, it's such a great feeling and for a brief moment i can't wait to get back the next day.  and then the next day comes and the endurance fight starts all over again.

this feeling is so parallel to my faith walk.  man, it is TOUGH!  being disciplined to read my bible everyday.  being disciplined to pray consistently (not just "blah blah" prayers, but real conversations with God).  i seem to come up with every excuse in the book to avoid drawing close to God and then staying close to Him throughout the day.  and then the next day comes and the endurance fight starts all over again with this as well.

living the "Jesus way of life" is no easy task.  there are so many distractions and other things warring against my walk with Him that quitting or even skipping is truly the easy thing to do.  and it's not just my own distractions that make it tough, but its the world around me, most of which does not understand why i choose to strive to live my life in such a way.  but, (you knew there was a but coming, didn't you?) when i'm faithful in my efforts to draw close to God and stay close to Him, there's no greater feeling in the world...even greater than a good workout!!!

"God, give me the endurance to draw close to You everyday before my day begins, and give me the endurance to stay close to You throughout the day."

"And everyone will hate you because you are my followers.  But the one who endures to the end will be saved." - Mark 13:13

sobonana...

just jason

i'm just jason.

i wake up every morning around 6:30 like a lot of other people.

in the mornings, i like to drink coffee...black please...no doctoring for me.

i also like frosted flakes cereal when i have time to eat at home, but sadly i rarely have time to eat at home.  bacon and eggs are also a favorite.

i'm just jason.

i like to workout in the morning.  i've recenly gotten serious about working out and have been going monday-friday.  i'm a member at a local gym because if i had the equipment at home i would never use it.

i don't eat as healthy as i should, but i have a strong metabolism (for now) so i indulge from time to time.

i do love smoothies...mmm...especially the 40oz gladiator from smoothie king...strawberries and bananas please!  i like to reward myself with these after a really good workout, but they're very expensive so it doesn't happen too often.

i'm just jason.

i like watching crude humor movies like "talladega nights" and "christmas vacation" and recently "the hangover".

the main radio station i listen to is 97x here in tampa bay.  i like alternative rock.

i don't watch much tv.  don't have the time or really the desire.  but, i will admit that my world stops spinning every monday night from 9-10pm for "24".

i'm just jason.

i didn't want to be a worship leader growing up.  i wanted to be a professional football player, or a rock star, or maybe even a pilot.

sometimes when i read the bible, it makes no sense to me...sometimes it pisses me off...many times it comforts me and teaches me.  i hope i always hunger to discover its mysteries.

if i could do anything else in ministry besides music, i would probably be a teaching pastor or maybe to something with missions.

i'm just jason.

i don't get mad or angry very easily, but i do get frustrated too easily, especially over things that i'm passionate about.

i don't laugh enough.

i love my daughters like crazy, but wish i could be a better father to them.

i'm just jason.

i do want to be rich, but it's not my motivation in life.

i do want to be famous, but not at the expense of my integrity.

i do want to be healthy and in shape, but i don't want to worship vanity.

i'm just jason.

why did i write all of this?  to air my dirty laundry?  confess my sins or weaknesses?  no.  i did it to remind myself that God did indeed create me to be something special and of worth, but at the end of the day i'm just jason...flawed, imperfect and sinful...and He's just God...flawless, perfect and sinless.

"God, help me to remember that You created me to be someone special, but also help me to remember that You are greater...there is no one greater...and help me continually submit my life to Yours and strive to walk closer to You everyday."

"Jesus also taught: 'Beware of these teachers of religious law! For they like to parade around in flowing robes and receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces. And how they love the seats of honor in the synagogues and the head table at banquets. Yet they shamelessly cheat widows out of their property and then pretend to be pious by making long prayers in public. Because of this, they will be more severely punished.'" - Mark 12:38-40

sobonana...

obedience

there's a common theme that all of us have as human beings.  to someone, or some thing, we must be obedient.

kids have to obey their parents

employees have to obey their supervisors

drivers have to obey the rules of the road

even Jesus had to obey His Father

but in the end, we all have to be obedient to God.

let me be totally honest and transparent right now...sometimes obeying God is easier said than done.  in fact, it's one of the hardest things for me to do.  i don't hear an audible voice telling me what to do (at least, not when i'm in my right mind).  God doesn't send letters, e-mails, texts, tweets, wall posts on facebook or anything like that.

let's all admit it, obeying God is hard to do in our day and time...we need something tangible...something we can touch, see, hear, etc.  but, that's not how He works.  so how does He work?  how can you (i) obey God when we/i can't see or hear Him?

i've found there are two ways that God speaks to me:

through His scriptures

through other people

many times, God speaks His direction and guidance to me through times of reading His word and sometimes He speaks His direction and guidance to me when i'm talking to people and asking their advice.

but ultimately, it comes down to obedience.  He can speak to me however He chooses, but i still have to obey Him.  whatever He asks, i must do...whether i like it or not...and that's tough!  but, by being obedient, i have found that His plans are always better than mine.  it's when i disobey that life can really suck!

so, i turn to faith...faith that obeying Him will be the better move for me...faith that obeying Him will not lead me down the wrong path...faith that obeying Him will further His kingdom, even if it doesn't further mine!

"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.  But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night." - Psalms 1:1-2

"I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." - Psalms 119:32

"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.  I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.  I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." - Psalms 119:9-11

"If you love me, you will obey what I command." - John 14:15

sobonana...

My Sphere of Influence

tonight i got to speak at re:wired...the college ministry that meets at st james every monday night.  i didn't really have a "message" to share, i just shared my story over the last 3 months of my life.  i got to talk about my trip to south africa and as only God could orchestrate it, tonight it was announced that there is a trip being planned to south africa by some of the re:wired team and they're going in may 2010.  they didn't know i was speaking about south africa and i didn't know they would be announcing the dates of their trip tonight...but God knew.

tonight as i spoke, i got to thinking about my sphere of influence.  i was reminded when paul butler first started telling me about the aids pandemic and when i asked what i could do he said the best thing i could do was impact/educate my sphere of influence with the truth.

there have been a couple of examples lately that have proven that God has given me a sphere of influence and i need to use it to make a difference.

first is this blog.  i'm not going to give numbers because that's not important, but what is important is that there are people i have never met who are reading my blog.  i have a traffic analyzer set up and i can tell where people are located when they read this blog, and i can tell you that i've never been to a lot of the cities and countries that appear in the stats.  i've heard multiple stories how people have used some of my blog writings in classes, small groups and sermons.  i've received e-mails from people i've never met who tell me how much my blog has impacted their lives.  the original intent was for me to use this to journal my experiences, but God has used it for much greater things than I could have imagined.  He has used it to expand my sphere of influence.

another example is one that happened last week.  i use twitter and you can follow my twitter feed on the home page of this blog or at twitter.com/jasonanelson.  last thursday i "tweeted" that i was going to sing at a funeral and requested prayers for the family.  within 5 minutes, that "tweet" was "re-tweeted" by four other people who "follow" me.  i have 68 people who "follow" me on twitter.  those four other people have a combined "following" of 12,893 people.  so, what was intended to only be sent out to only 65 people was in fact sent out to nearly 13,000 people.

i've said it before, but i'm just a simple musician from dallas, texas.  i don't consider myself to be a celebrity or even an overly popular person.  but, God has entrusted me with a sphere of influence and the reality that is hitting me is that i have a responsibility to impact my sphere for good...for His purposes.

so, my question to you is this: what are you doing to impact your sphere of influence for the good?  you may think that you don't know a lot of people or that you're not a popular person, but the truth is you never know who is looking up to you for some kind of guidance, some kind of leadership, some way to make a difference.  the greatest need we have as human beings, besides feeling loved, is feeling a sense of purpose...a sense of being needed.  let me encourage you that you do have a purpose and you are needed...people need you every day and your purpose is to make their lives a little better than when you walked into it (before you make your own life better)!  Jesus made it very simple for us...love God (the easy part), and love people (using your sphere of influence to do so).

i only thought a few dozen people would read this blog, but hundreds read it every day and some people are using the blog to teach others who will probably never read this blog.  i only thought 68 people would read my prayer request for the funeral last week, but thousands ended up reading it.

someone in this world depends on you...don't let them down!

sobonana...

A Different Way of Thinking

i'm going to branch off a bit from my postings about africa.  well, not completely, but just a little bit.  i woke up at 4am with some thoughts in my head and had to get them out, so bear with me while i word-vomit for a bit.

while i was in africa, i noticed something that seemed very different from the way i grew up...a bit refreshing and yet a bit confusing.  when referring to churches, they were simply known as the "_________ congregation".  for instance, the rietvlei congregation...the kwamhlanga congregation.  in many instances, they were just know as "church."  a typical conversation could go like this on any given sunday:

person 1: "what did you do today?"
person 2: "i went to church."
person 1: "cool." (okay, they probably don't say "cool" but you understand)

not a mention of what church they went to...no need, because in many places only one church serves the neighborhood or community.  very few identifying characteristics of the south african church.  i'm not going to make any assumptions as to why, but it is intriguing, isn't it?

that got me thinking about the american church.  i've worked in local churches since 1993, so while i'm no expert on the matter, i think i have some insight.  in america, i think we may have missed the point just a bit when it came to what Jesus intended the church to be.

first, we identify ourselves by denomination: baptist, methodist, lutheran, assembly of God, catholic, episcopalian, NON-denominational, and the list goes on and on and on...not to mention the number of sub groups within some of these denominations, like baptist, southern baptist, free will baptist, etc.

second, we saturate communities with churches.  just on bruce b. downs, the main drag in new tampa where i live, there are over a dozen churches in a 10 mile run.  we add more churches thinking we'll have the answer the community needs and yet the percentage of americans going to church on a sunday morning remains anywhere from 30-40% with a slow decline (but yet more than 3/4 of americans believe in God).

i understand the argument that not every person likes one style of church/worship so having different styles of churches helps answer that problem, but is that really the answer?  i mean, when Christ established the Church, he said to peter, "upon this rock i will build my Church..."  he didn't say, "upon peter i will build the baptist church...upon james i will build the methodist church...upon john i will build the lutheran church...etc...etc...etc."  so, where did we go wrong?

i grew up baptist...southern baptist to be exact.  i led worship in a southern baptist church for the first 7 years of my career.  then i went non-denominational for 3 years.  then in 2004 i joined the staff of a united methodist church and when that happened someone once said to me, "finally, we won you over!"  while i'm sure that statement was a bit tongue-in-cheek, i'm still struck by it to this day.  "won me over???"  to what???

yesterday at the 11:00 service at st. james, my pastor said something brilliant.  i was sitting back stage not feeling well, so i don't remember it verbatim, but he basically said regardless of denomination we are all one CHURCH serving one God who was born of a virgin, died on the cross and rose three days later.  why do i think it was brilliant?  because it's true!  and people started applauding!  why?  because i think deep down we're growing tired as an american culture of the identifying characteristics we have placed on churches.  while i believe that deep down every church believes this as well, why do we still have to identify ourselves in so many ways?  why has the church made sunday mornings the most segregated time of the week (and i'm not just talking race here)?

white churches vs. black churches

this denomination vs. that denomination

traditional vs. contemporary

inner city vs. suburb

etc vs. etc

what if the church i attend was simply known as the tampa palms church?  what if another church was known as the downtown tampa church?  and another church was known as the wesley chapel church?  or the _______ (fill in your community) church?  and, what if each church truly functioned the way it was established to function in the book of acts?  and what if the style of music wasn't as important as the passion of the worship?  and what if churches truly focused on teaching the "Jesus way of life" rather than the american way of living good (okay, that's a little harsh, but go with me on this one for a bit)?  and what if churches stopped trying to making people happy and instead challenged people to start living beyond themselves?  i wonder what would happen then...i wonder if we would still be struggling to fill sanctuaries...i wonder if people would still view church as the "hope of the world" rather than a thorn in their sides.

it really is very easy to have a successful church.  Jesus simplified it for us when he said, "love God and love people."  somehow, we have inserted "love myself" into the equation and it has gotten all messed up.  and that is why i hear of so many churches struggling and many churches closing their doors every week.

i love the church and believe it has so much potential.  Jesus wouldn't have established the church if he didn't think it could make a difference in the world.  i know i'm making blanket statements here and there are lots of people who go to church who get it and truly want to live the "Jesus way of life."  i'm speaking to more of the leaders of the church...like myself.  we have a responsibility to lead the church God has given us in the way God intended.  i think there are many church leaders who are trying hard to lead the church the way God intended but somehow we're still missing the mark...and for me, i honestly can't put my finger on what mark i'm missing.

could a church that doesn't identify itself by denomination really succeed in america?  could a church that isn't defined by it's style of worship or creativity really succeed in america?  could a church that isn't defined by the color of the attendees really succeed in america?  could a church that is defined more by it's community rather than it's demographics really succeed in america?  maybe it's the "sin" factor that causes all of this?  maybe it's the selfish nature inherent in all of us that causes all of this?

sobonana...